Tuesday, April 5, 2016

D:Death #A-Z challenge 2016

"Human Emotions and Qualities" is my theme for A-Z Blogging challenge 2016


Death is the strongest  emotion of every person which makes him very weak. Accepting and living with the fact that the person whom we love the most, be it the lover, friend, sibling, parent or a relative will never be seen again is heart breaking. It is the wound who reappears often when memories haunt and sadly has no permanent heal. I come from a  family where my maternal grandma had 18 children and 20 from the paternal side. 6 each on both the sides were gone even before my parents were born. All of my aunts and uncles have 4 children on a average and each one of them having 2 kids(average). Isn't that a really huge number?


My mom and dad being the last ones in the row of siblings, myself, my brother and my sister are the youngest grandchildren in the family. With such huge a number of people in the family every year we are bound to lose one or two people naturally due to aging or ailment. As kids we never realized the loss of people around to a great extent. Imagine with so many people in the ancestral tree how many of them can we be really close to?
Most of our face-to face meeting will happen only on some occasion or family gathering.

I felt the jolt of death when my lovely grandma (maternal) passed away. I was very attached to her and living with the reality that she was no more was not something I could take it easily. Year after year one or the other elder person in the family passes away. The trauma of death became unbearable when my very own sister was missed 9 years ago due to a cardiac problem. The pain got deeper when my best-est friend decided to end her life for one hell of a silly reason. Until today, I cannot remember them  without shedding  tears. They will be missed for ever in my life.
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My family has a practice of burying all the dead ones of the family in the  burial ground which is claimed to be our grand parents property. On a particular day of the year, the entire family visits this place and offer food to the people who are missed for ever. Each dead family person will be offered his favorite food ranging from what is cooked at home, to condiments to sweet dishes. Almost everything.

It is such a inauspicious day for the entire family. I dread to see all this practices happen on this day standing in front of all of their tombs. I personally hate to do that. Though there is lot of sentiment around this to me it appears that if something was supposed to be done to a person do it when he is alive. I feel all the more pissed off when my relatives who did not care for their parents when  alive come with array of dishes and shed tears regretting. It totally looks pointless.Being blunt I feel it like a scene from a movie. Not all would have genuine feelings for the person. I would rather appreciate if they could feed a child instead of spending so much for the show off.

Me and my parents along with my brother try to keep this day simple, visit my sister's tomb with less practices. We feed the blind school kids in her remembrance and ask them to pray for her, which ever world she is in. No, I am not trying to hurt any sentiments here. But I feel genuine need to take care of a person when he/she is alive in the first place. Even after that, if destiny is to lose the person forever  then practices like this are not of any use. What's the whole point wasting food for a person who cannot eat it anymore. There are so many children and people starving for a single meal out there. Me and my brother  take very  good care of our parents and the ones we love and do everything possible to keep them happy when they are breathing. One needs to do what needs to be done before it is too late. 
Previous posts:
A:Accept life as it comes.

B: Brave is beautiful.



  1. I hate deaths but I know it's inevitable. I had never heard of such a practice before. I am glad you and family do what you want to instead of just following rituals.

  2. Thank you for sharing on such a profound and moving topic. Its hard to celebrate our lives and the lives of our loved ones while we have the chance. And even harder to remember what was.


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